Fandom Angst
Oct. 19th, 2008 10:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
revidWarning for not being in my happy place.
I'd been feeling better about Gale Harold's condition the last few days, but then some stuff I started thinking about last night, along with watching him on Desperate Housewives again tonight, has stirred up some unpleasant thoughts.
Here's the thing. Gale was in a motorcycle accident significant enough to put him in a Neurosurgical ICU. We know he didn't go to surgery, and it seems unlikely that he will, given that he was stable enough to be transferred to another hospital. But, his only other injury is a "broken shoulder." That's a layman's term and I don't know if it that means he suffered a proximal humerus fracture (upper arm bone) or a scapular fracture, which is somewhat more serious. Either way, the reason he's still in the hospital is the head injury. The fact that he's still hospitalized five and a half days after the injury makes me very anxious. (There hasn't been any report as to whether or not he was wearing a helmet. Assuming he was, chances are he'd be dead if he hadn't been.)
To explain why the anxiety, I'll use Travis Barker as an example. I felt bad for Travis and I'm glad he's alive. He has severe burns to the lower half of his body, but despite his injuries, he will almost certainly drum again. And he is still Travis Barker -- his personality is intact. But Closed Head Injuries are tricky beasts. People can look perfectly fine. Their CT Scans and MRIs can look perfectly fine. They can walk out of the hospital perfectly fine. But they're not. They can't concentrate. They can't organize. They can't problem solve. They can't remember things. This is what scares me the most for Gale. Since his survival is almost certainly a given at this point -- he's unlikely to die from his head injury after this length of time -- this now becomes the worse case scenario: he won't be able to resume his career; he won't be able to act.
If I were one of Gale's loved ones, of course I'd be grateful that he just survived. And don't get me wrong, as a fan, OF COURSE, I am grateful and relived that he is alive. But as a fan, my only real connection to him is through his work, and the thought that he could be injured seriously enough to be unable to work again makes me genuinely sad.
I don't subscribe to "magical thinking." Everyone says "think good thoughts" but the fact is that whether I think positive or negative things doesn't actually change Gale's injury or prognosis. And I am 1000% hoping that 6 months from now I re-read this entry and say "What the fuck were you thinking?" But frankly, I'm scared for him, and I just wanted to say this stuff out-loud so it would stop rattling around in my brain driving me crazy.
And my above statement about magical thinking notwithstanding, Get Well Soon, Gale!
I'd been feeling better about Gale Harold's condition the last few days, but then some stuff I started thinking about last night, along with watching him on Desperate Housewives again tonight, has stirred up some unpleasant thoughts.
Here's the thing. Gale was in a motorcycle accident significant enough to put him in a Neurosurgical ICU. We know he didn't go to surgery, and it seems unlikely that he will, given that he was stable enough to be transferred to another hospital. But, his only other injury is a "broken shoulder." That's a layman's term and I don't know if it that means he suffered a proximal humerus fracture (upper arm bone) or a scapular fracture, which is somewhat more serious. Either way, the reason he's still in the hospital is the head injury. The fact that he's still hospitalized five and a half days after the injury makes me very anxious. (There hasn't been any report as to whether or not he was wearing a helmet. Assuming he was, chances are he'd be dead if he hadn't been.)
To explain why the anxiety, I'll use Travis Barker as an example. I felt bad for Travis and I'm glad he's alive. He has severe burns to the lower half of his body, but despite his injuries, he will almost certainly drum again. And he is still Travis Barker -- his personality is intact. But Closed Head Injuries are tricky beasts. People can look perfectly fine. Their CT Scans and MRIs can look perfectly fine. They can walk out of the hospital perfectly fine. But they're not. They can't concentrate. They can't organize. They can't problem solve. They can't remember things. This is what scares me the most for Gale. Since his survival is almost certainly a given at this point -- he's unlikely to die from his head injury after this length of time -- this now becomes the worse case scenario: he won't be able to resume his career; he won't be able to act.
If I were one of Gale's loved ones, of course I'd be grateful that he just survived. And don't get me wrong, as a fan, OF COURSE, I am grateful and relived that he is alive. But as a fan, my only real connection to him is through his work, and the thought that he could be injured seriously enough to be unable to work again makes me genuinely sad.
I don't subscribe to "magical thinking." Everyone says "think good thoughts" but the fact is that whether I think positive or negative things doesn't actually change Gale's injury or prognosis. And I am 1000% hoping that 6 months from now I re-read this entry and say "What the fuck were you thinking?" But frankly, I'm scared for him, and I just wanted to say this stuff out-loud so it would stop rattling around in my brain driving me crazy.
And my above statement about magical thinking notwithstanding, Get Well Soon, Gale!
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 05:34 am (UTC)*HUGS* I can completely understand and sympathize with your feelings. Hell, up until I read all that, I wasn't nearly as concerned as I am now. I never knew all that, and I really hope that he's going to be just fine, and that it's nothing as severe as it might seem at the moment.
*HUGS!* I wish I could say "I'm sure things will be fine" but I don't know. I do have my fingers and toes crossed though. :)
*SMOOCHES*
Try not to stress too much honey. Hopefully before we know it, our boy will be back in action. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 06:24 am (UTC)Plus the fact we didn't even get rumor today, much less news, makes me antsy.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-21 04:02 am (UTC)We're both realists, so I can completely understand where you're coming from. :)
And I'm glad you got it all off your chest. Keep me updated when there's news! :)
*SMOOOCHES*
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 04:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 06:28 pm (UTC)Thanks Joey. I hope I'm way off base.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 08:14 pm (UTC)Argh - fingers crossed for him and you. I hate worrying about stuff that you can't control, and I hate not being able to not worry about it if you know what I mean. So sending out my best "get well soon hot dude" vibes.
Also, I love "hearing"/reading you talk shop, Dr. Mary ;)
no subject
Date: 2008-10-20 09:45 pm (UTC)